Almost every day, I watch the clock religiously before lunchtime. When noon arrives, I rush home, let Sprocket out of his room, and plant myself in front of the TV. No, I'm not watching the noon news. Or Pyramid. I'm watching.....Days of Our Lives.

I never meant for this to happen. It was in the fall, I think, back when the tv schedules were rearranged for the new season. I was watching Pyramid one day, and when commercials came on I channel-surfed. And that's when I stumbled on the tale of the Salem Serial Killer.

Someone had been shot. Abe Carver, the police commander, to be exact. The attacker was still on the loose. Everyone was pointing fingers and placing blame. And as Abe lay in his hospital bed, breathing his last breaths, everyone wondered if he would name his killer. As the name came to his lips, he died.

And thus began the murders. Abe was the lucky one, for he fell victim to a gun (the weapon of choice for respectable murders, if there is such a thing). Jack, the next victim, was attacked with a brick. Maggie was hit over the head with a glass bottle. Cassie was placed in a human-sized pinata, and her bloody body fell to the ground as children hacked at the pinata with sticks. Caroline was poisoned. Roman was stabbed on his wedding night with nothing other than the knife used to cut the cake. Tony was attacked by a tiger.

While none of the characters (except those who have met an untimely fate) know the identity of the killer, the viewers have discovered that it is none other than Marlena Evans-Black, the town psychiatrist and most trusted woman in town. A devoted mother and husband, she is the model of intelligence and level-headedness. Turns out she's got a dark side.

You think I'm crazy, I know, but it's not just the ridiculous plot that has drawn me in. It's the story of the demise of soap operas and the networks' attempts to attract new viewers. Gone are the days of housewives who had plenty of time to watch and preferred exaggerated romance; this is the 21st-century. The old viewers are dying off, and the target audience of the past is working eight hours a day now. Women have changed. Television has changed.

And so soap operas are going after the younger viewers. To do that, they're introducing an influx of younger characters. But how can they afford to bring in new stars when soap operas are bringing in less revenue than ever? Easy-- kill off the old actors, the ones who have been there for 30 years, the ones who get the biggest paychecks and are least likely to appeal to twenty-somethings.

And that's how the Salem Serial Killer came to life. A total of 10 actors are supposed to bite the dust thanks to Marlena, and most of them are geriatric. It's a shame really, when you think about it. They're the ones who made the shows what they are today- they parented the children, they maintained the family togetherness, and now they get to die a dramatic (and most likely far-fetched) death.

Chances are I won't always watch Days. Even now, I don't get to see it as often as I used to (because I'm willing to sacrifice my precious TV time to have lunch with you, Bugs!). But right now, it fascinates me. Will the show's writers succeed? Have they breathed new life into a dying genre? Will outrageous plots and gruesome murders attract viewers and increase revenues?

If I'm any indication, the answer is yes.