Here is a synopsis of the last 24 hours of my life:

7:15 a.m.- Alarm goes off; I turn it off and roll over.
7:30 a.m.- Sprocket beats on door of his bedroom repeatedly; I get up and let him out.
7:55 a.m.- Weather forecaster on radio station predicts no more than 1-2 inches of snow for entire day.
8:15 a.m.- I put on high-heeled boots, prepare myself for day with little snow.
8:38 a.m.- I arrive at work and discount those who say we are in for horrible weather.
8:50 a.m.- Friend with whom I had lunch plans calls to cancel due to weather.
8:52 a.m.- I protest his decision, but to no avail.
9:30 a.m.- Snow starts falling.
9:35 a.m.- Snow falls harder.
9:55 a.m.- Campus is covered in snow.
11:35 a.m.- WRAL weather article forecasts 4-10 inches of snow.
11:36 a.m.- I silently curse weather forecaster from radio station.
11:45 a.m.- E-mail is sent announcing closing of offices at 2 p.m.
12:05 p.m.- I eat fortune cookie containing the fortune "A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life."
12:11 p.m.- I show fortune to coworker; she tries to steal it for herself.
12:20 p.m.- Boss tells me I can go home early.
12:30 p.m.- I fight to scrape six inches of snow off of my windshield.
12:40 p.m.- I arrive home.
12:45 p.m.- I turn TV to NBC to watch Days of Our Lives; special newscast about weather is on instead.
1:00 p.m.- Next-door neighbor invites me over to have dinner with her.
1:15 p.m.- I begin to wash two-weeks worth of dishes.
2:15 p.m.- Dishes are clean and put away.
2:30 p.m.- I decide to watch "The Muppets Take Manhattan" with Sprocket.
3:55 p.m.- Movie is over, so I get ready to go to neighbor's apartment.
4:01 p.m.- Cannot find boots suitable for snow; tie plastic bags around my feet instead.
4:02 p.m.- I arrive at neighbor's apartment, remove bags from my feet.
6:02 p.m.- I leave neighbor's apartment, obsessed with the idea of cleaning out my microwave.
6:35 p.m.- I clean out my microwave.
6:59 p.m.- I go back to neighbor's to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
7:00 p.m.- I drop housekey in snow on way to neighbor's house; spend two minutes looking for it.
7:02 p.m.- I find housekey.
7:59 p.m.- I return home to watch Friends.
8:31 p.m.- I clean out burner on stove.
9:00-10:00 p.m.- I watch "The Apprentice."
10:05 p.m.- I put load of laundry in washer.
11:00-11:30 p.m.- I watch "That 70's Show."
11:35 p.m.- I decide to go to bed.
11:37 p.m.- I start feeling stomach pains.
11:38 p.m.- Sprocket is fed and put in his room.
11:45 p.m.- I spend agonizing 20 minutes in bathroom.
11:46 p.m.- Sprocket starts pounding on his door.
12:05 a.m.- I let Sprocket out and go to bed.
12:15 a.m.- I feel more stomach pains, go back to bathroom.
12:45 a.m.- Finally go to bed.
7:15 a.m.- Alarm goes off; I turn it off and roll over.
8:00 a.m.- I get out of bed and let Sprocket out.
8:02 a.m.- I go back to bed.
8:04 a.m.- Sprocket gets in bed with me and drools on my blanket.
8:20 a.m.- I ask Sprocket to make me breakfast and bring it to me.
8:21 a.m.- He respectfully declines.
9:01 a.m.- I make my own breakfast.
9:15 a.m.- I put on shoes and walk outside to street to assess condition.
9:30 a.m.- I slip on step and almost fall.
10:01 a.m.- I walk out the door with my lunch, purse, umbrella, boots I borrowed from neighbor, post office renewal slip, and UNC interview materials.
10:03 a.m.- I open car door and start tossing stuff into car.
10:04 a.m.- Umbrella hits pile of snow on top of car.
10:04:01 a.m.- Two pounds of snow lands in the driver's seat of my car.
10:06 a.m.- 10-inch thick pile of snow buries my arm as I try to remove it from windshield.
10:08 a.m.- I get in car and slam door; get coat caught in door.
10:09 a.m.- I put car in reverse and start journey to post office.
10:15 a.m.- I arrive at Post Office.
10:17 a.m.- I slip on patch of ice and do silly twirl before regaining balance.
10:25 a.m.- I pull into parking space in work parking lot.
10:26 a.m.- I pull out of space and try to straighten my car within space.
10:27 a.m.- I step out of car and slip on patch of ice.
10:27:05 a.m.- I regain my balance by grabbing rearview mirror of adjacent car.
10:28 a.m.- I open umbrella and begin walking to building.
10:28-10:29 a.m.- I slip five times.
10:30 a.m.- I arrive at work.
10:31 a.m.- I decide to move to Florida.