Last night Bugs and I went to Wal-Mart to get groceries. I can't recall a time when I ever went to Wal-Mart out of anything except necessity, and even then I dreaded it considerably. I firmly believe that Wal-Mart is the devil-- a corporate monster who is out to destroy all that is good and honest in our country. If it weren't for the fact that they have cheap grocery prices, I wouldn't go.

We spent a little longer there than we had intended (there was a huge distraction in all the Easter stuff- I have never seen such cute little novelties!) but we eventually had everything we needed, and we made our way to the check-outs. We were over the "20 items or less" stipulation, so we found a regular check-out line that didn't have too many people waiting. We had waited maybe five minutes when another cashier came up to an adjoining register and told us she could check us out there. So we rolled our cart over to her lane and Bugs began unloading her groceries from the cart.

Apparently there was some problem with the girl logging on to the system, so all of a sudden she mumbles something about the computer not thinking she's clocked in. She turns the light off, says it'll be a minute, and disappears. By then, Bugs had completely unloaded her items, so moving to another cashier's line wouldn't have been very simple. So we waited for the girl to come back.

And we waited. For what must have been 10 minutes. Eventually we realized that she wasn't going to come back, so we loaded our stuff back into the cart and went in search of another line. Only by now, all of the lanes had at least four people with full carts waiting to be checked out. So we picked a line and got in it. This entailed another 15 minutes of waiting in line.

By this time, I was fit to be tied. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a tendency towards impatience, and I can get quite agitated when I think something is being handled stupidly. It had started as we stood in the abandoned check-out lane looking like total idiots who couldn't see that there was no cashier there and the light wasn't on. By the time we got into the super-long line, I was worse. It didn't help matters that the cashier manager's station was only a few yards away.

At first, I mainly sighed and made side comments to Bugs about how stupid this was. Then I started pointing out that it wasn't fair that we had been waiting twice as long as everyone else, and if we had stayed in that first line we would be home by now. Then my voice got louder as I indicated that they really needed to open more lines. It wasn't pretty. Bugs, of course, found my behavior amusing. I found it appalling and embarrassing, but couldn't bring myself to stop.

Eventually the lady who appeared to be the cashier manager got the hint and she opened a register. She came up to us and said that she was opening and could check us out there. However, we had learned our lesson and refused vehemently. The people behind us, of course, were all frightened of me and were hesitant to move to the other line, afraid that I might bite their heads off or something. Bugs and I reassured them that they were free to go there, that the last time we moved the cashier disappeared before ever ringing us up and never came back.

Finally it was our turn. Bugs checked out first, and then I unloaded my grocery items, being careful to slam every one of them down on the counter. When the cashier asked me had I found everything I needed, I said yes gruffly and left it at that. Finally, though, Bugs and I both told her our story of cashier betrayal and apologized for being in such bad moods. She was very nice and said that she understood perfectly why we were so angry about it. We decided that we liked her.

Then we took the groceries to the car and went home. Today, of course, I feel horribly about my behavior and wish that I could take it back. But I find relief in knowing that the Wal-Mart Devil made me do it.