Yesterday I went to my orthodontist's office for the first time in three and a half years. It was an interesting experience. On one level, it was nostalgic. I remember going there as a young teenager; I couldn't have been more than 13. It was refreshing to realize that some things never change. The doctor still works in the same building he always has. In the waiting room, there's still a shelf full of yearbooks from all of the area high schools (I used to look in those all the time and envy the beautiful people who went to the public high schools). There's still a bulletin board with pictures of children who have been newly outfitted with braces. At each patient station, there's still the laminated grid showing the different colors the rubber bands are available in. The sinks and disposable toothbrushes are all still there. It seemed like almost all of the staff was still there. Even the artwork on the walls is the same.

And yet, it's different. The yearbooks are all worn and tattered, and are actually the same ones that were there when I was a patient (they must not buy them anymore). The bulletin board that has new patient photos is covered with digital photo printouts, as opposed to the Polaroid photos that were around when I got my braces. Instead of getting a little card with my next appointment written on it, I got a fancy print-out that came in three detachable sections and included my appointment information, as well as my account balance, and recommendations for easing mouth pain.

Strangely, after all this time, several people seemed to recognize me (I thought I was unmemorable). They called me by name, and wanted to know if I was still in school. When I told them I graduated three years ago, they all wanted to know where the time had gone. And they wanted to know what I was doing now. I still have my suspicions about whether they really recognized me. I bet that each morning they have a staff meeting in which they go over all of the patients they are going to see that day. They look at photos and chart history and prepare to impress the patients with how memorable they all are. I bet they are really proud of themselves.

The doctor looked at my chart and told me that I first stepped into his office on February 26, 1992. They actually had some slides of my teeth in my chart as well, including a photo of me with really high bangs, really frizzy hair, and horrible-looking glasses. I've come a long way, baby.

Anyway, the diagnosis was not something I wanted to hear. My teeth are moving, as I suspected. But they aren't too worried about my bottom teeth (which seems to be my only obsession- I swear they're going to fall out at some point); it's my two front teeth that are moving the most. A few more years and I'll have buck teeth sure enough. So I have been sentenced to wearing my retainer every night for the rest of my life. Yes, you read right. EVERY NIGHT. And to top it all off, I have to go back in six weeks so they can check them again. Meaning that if I don't wear my retainer every night, they'll know. So there's no way I can break the rules, at least right now.

So now it is Wednesday morning, and I am starving. I haven't eaten yet, because my mouth is in immense pain, and the thought of chewing scares me to death. I was awake half the night with throbbing pains in my mouth, and the last place I want to be right now is at work.

I also went to my primary care physician (insurance speak) yesterday, and it was not a pleasant experience. The best part of the whole visit was seeing a Viagra-shaped soap dispenser (shaped like the pill, mind you)-- it was kind of amusing somehow. I was also relieved to have more X-rays and discover that my scoliosis is not quite as bad as I thought, and I shouldn't have a lot of problems in the future. Although it is probably what is causing the present hip pain.

And so after I had been poked and prodded enough, I went to Wal-Mart and decided to buy myself whatever I wanted. I ended up with a CD by Gavin DeGraw (not the best, but there are a few good songs on there) and two DVDs- a Muppet Show collection featuring George Burns, Dom Deluise, and Bob Hope, and the movie Peggy Sue Got Married. I came home a happy person.

I need to find excuses more often to comfort myself by shopping.